I need
I need to feel safe. Before I open my submissive nature to You I need to feel
safe and have reason to trust You. To let down my walls and give You control
of my will may take time and testing before Even after I give myself to You
fully, I will need to be reminded I am safe with You. I may like to feel the
thrill and excitement of the unknown, but I need to be sure no matter how
You stimulate those emotions, I will remain safe in Your care.
I need to know You accept me for all I am. I can be many things to You as
our relationship grows and I need to know You accept me as a person during
each transition along the way. I need to know You will accept me as a friend,
lover, companion, as well as a submissive but also accept me as in other roles
as I forefill my obligations to family or society. I will need to know exactly
what You expect of me and know that You also understand my limits. In some
ways I am like a child that needs a fence around my play area so I know how
far I can go and feel secure inside those limits. I will need You to reinforce
those fences by correcting me when I try to climb them without Your approval.
I will need to know You mean what You say and that today's rules will apply
to tomorrow's behaviour. Nothing confuses me more than giving me mixed signals
by allowing me to break rules that You will give me. From time to time I may
test You to see if You are capable of accepting control of my life by consistently
bringing me back to the path You've chosen for me. It will not done to try
Your patience but is my way of finding reassurance You are paying attention
to my progress. Very often it will not be done consciously and I promise I'll
not use it as a method for provoking Your negative responses.
I need to expand my limits. I will need to grow and to be challenged. Left
on my own, I'll become bored or stagnate within the boundaries I accept in
the beginning. I will need to be pushed, but never shoved, to go beyond the
places I've been. I may drag my feet and pout at times, or sit down and refuse
to move because I'm unsure and need Your guidance in overcoming my obstacles.
I will depend on You for strength and encouragement to get beyond them. I
need You to teach me. I will need to learn and it is You who will be my teacher.
My mind is hungry for new things and learning helps me to become all that
I can be. This may require You to continue to learn new things in order to
keep me challenged. Together we can grow to the fullness of the gifts we have
and deepen the diversity we share.
I need goals. Part of my make-up as a submissive makes me very goal-oriented.
I need them to measure my progress and will need You to provide them for me.
Take time to explain those goals in ways I can comprehend Your plans concerning
my growth as Your submissive. Without Your direction I will quickly become
lost so I'll look to You frequently to provide a purpose and aim as I continue
in my development as your submissive.
I need to be corrected. I will need You to correct me when I make mistakes.
Without Your correction I will develop bad habits that can be very difficult
to break and do great damage to our relationship and to us as individuals.
Without Your correction, I may never know I've made a mistake. Allowing me
to continue unchecked will only cause me to fail both of us in the end. I
admire firmness in correction and will feel secure in knowing that You will
never be afraid to take steps needed in keeping me focused on the goals You've
set for me.
I need Your approval and reassurance. I will need to know when You approve
of me or what I've done and to know I belong to You even if I fall short of
my goals. I sometimes confuse approval with disapproval if You do not provide
positive reinforcement when You are pleased by my actions. I will constantly
be seeking Your approval when I'm unsure of myself and may need to rely deeply
on Your support and reassurance when I'm confused about a situation or apprehensive
about a new challenge.
I need to be able to express myself. I have a need to express both good and
bad things to You but it may be difficult for me to put the negative things
into words. I will fear Your rejection and will hate disappointing You, so
I may need a little space and time to voice all the things I need to say.
You can help me by reassuring me that my feelings are valid, even if they
aren't something You find pleasure in hearing. There may be times when I'm
upset or angry with You but without freedom to express those feelings there
can be only festering resentment or misunderstanding. Guide me in ways that
I can learn to speak my heart without breaking it or Yours.
I will need to experience things that may be painful in order to learn successfully.
You may struggle with allowing me to be hurt but I need to learn the consequences
of what I've done and to experience the feelings that go along with making
mistakes. I will need Your comfort once I've faced my failure but will sometimes
feel unworthy of asking or unable to voice my disappointment in failing. Allow
me to sort out my feelings before wiping away my tears.
I need forgiveness when I fail. Nothing hurts me more than to know I've failed
or displeased and I need to be forgiven once I've made amends. It is very
hard for me to forgive myself for a wrongdoing and I may need Your help in
getting beyond the feelings of remorse I am carrying. I may even need to be
punished, if my wrongdoing was traumatic enough, in order to feel closure
and accept forgiveness. I will depend on You to make that determination for
me and need Your help in making an atonement that is acceptable to You.
I need to feel I contribute. I have a deep-set need to give and must have
outlets for this need. My basic nature is to give of myself and You will be
the primary recipient of my gifts. Allow me to contribute to our relationship.
To do less will leave me unfulfilled and unneeded, also. I may need to give
of myself to those I hold dear but You will always receive the best I have
to offer. I need to enjoy successes.Without experiencing and enjoying my successes
I may give up my fight to be all You desire for me. Allow me the pleasure
of savouring the taste of victory when I overcome an obstacle or if You find
pride in my attempts. All of my successes will belong to You and I need to
share their rewards with You. I don't expect You to spoil me with grand displays
for little victories, but when I've reached beyond the limits of my past attempts,
please don't deny me the sweet feelings of knowing I've achieved a goal You've
set.
I need to share with You. Sharing with You is a compelling need and one of
the cornerstones of my submissive nature. This includes the emotional and
spiritual aspects of my being as well as the physical body I inhabit. It may
be difficult for me to give You access to the deeper levels of my emotions
and feelings but those are the things I need to share the most. I'll depend
on You to direct me in ways I can achieve total openness with You.
I also need to share in the things You are. Trust me enough to share in Your
fears, failures and struggles. I'll never see You as weak or incapable because
You have shown confidence in me by giving part of Yourself in trust. I need
to feel loved, respected, and protected in Your ownership. No matter how well
I've done or how miserably I've failed, I need to know I'm still loved and
protected by You. Nothing will prevent me from trying new things like fear
of losing Your respect and love. By the reverse, nothing will encourage me
to expand my limits and grow to be all I am capable of being more than knowing
You will be there to protect me from harm and will love me even if I fall
short of the target. I need to be loved and to love in return. I can't survive
without it.
