Honesty is the best policy
i have been thinking about honesty and what happens when that isn't adhered too and when in the melee of trying to find what it is each person seeks in chat or within a D/s situation, lies get told and the end result is people getting hurt.
If people were just honest and upfront about what they are looking for, and i mean totally honest, no frills or bows added, honest about what they want and what they can offer, life would be so much easier for all concerned. Why they need to butter up the reason for being here i do not know because the chances are that the web of deceipt that is made out of the lies will come back to haunt then sooner or later .
Example:Its easy to create a nic with Master this or Sir that on it and come into a D/s chat room, doesn't mean the bloke behind the nic has a Dom bone in his body, might even not be a bloke for all we know, but the Sir bit starts, fems offering this person some little act of submission etc and lets be honest, what bloke wouldn't want all the fems bowing down to him...Hey its the ideal...so they try it and sometimes it works...and they get all the fems swooning all over them...trouble starts when they enjoy it so much that they want more and before they know it they have a sub that they cant handle because really they have a wife and 2 kids at home, so they leg it, with a short but sweet mail that states they have this drama or that drama at home and really cant be dealing with a sub at this time, so off they go to change their nic so that they can start all over again, promising themselves each time that they wont get so caught up in it all the next time and that they will just play around a bit, not getting tangled with any one person in particular, but they do and it happens again and another heart is hurt.
Same applies to the fems of course....pretending to be something they are not...Doms get caught as well.
Perhaps everyone wants a bit of escapism and its ok playing at escape as long as you tell people that's what you are doing and that you have these real life commitments and that you cannot offer any more than that but its so easy online..until...the fem lets say..wants more and the bloke starts to hide and cheat on his wife and he skulks around and gets up in the middle of the night to log in..and moves the pc into the spare room and every time the wife comes into the room..he minimises the screen.
If people would just clear their decks if they have a serious intent or if not, then at least be honest about it..but hey.. you might say.. thats life.. Unfortunately..because the other person behind the screen is real too..and think they have found something good..which turns out to be a load of lies.
They might be desperate for someone to love them..desperate to the point of not seeing the realities..that its not that easy..that this person who professes to be something he/she is not... will continue to play this game until they get backed into a corner and then its time for the mail that gives out the standard reasons why this cannot continue and yet again, someone's heart is chipped a little more.
How many times, how many people have to be put through this charade, some have wised up, some don't even let the wall down anymore because they have been caught again and again and yet still we see, the new nic appearing and the game begins again.
I just wish people would be honest about what they are doing, would save so much time and heartache for so many people.
It would seem that having started this site some while ago, i have found somewhere that gives me the ability to say what i think, when i think it without any need to hold back or not be true to myself and my thoughts. It might be said that my words here are a reflections of the real me and it has been pointed out to me on several occasions lately that the way in which i can freely and opening express the true me seems to come out well in written form.
i have found over time that if i try to say things that are not a true reflection of what i am actually thinking, they don't come out half as well as they would if i was truthful and really said what i wanted to say. i am finding that altho sometimes people might not always agree with my forthright attitude, they have a tendency to respect what i write even if they don't agree with it, that the honest approach seems to be better than dressing it up in frills and bow just to keep people happy but in doing so not really saying what was on my mind.
I have an MSN profile on which there is a space for a favorite quote and the one on mine, which has been there for quite some time now is as follows:
"This above all: To thine own self be true. And it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man"
William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
i cannot say that i live by that concept all the time, but i will say that it is more in the front of my mind these days than it ever has been and that i think is due mainly to the response i have had to the blog and the way i say what i think here, rather than trying to say things with frills and bows just to keep people happy. That isn't of course to say that what i might have to say has any more merit or that it should be taken as gospel because that isn't how it is, this is just my opinion on the subject matter that i chose to write about on any given day but at least, when i do write about something, what you see is a true reflection of the way i think and feel on that particular subject. i have made a promise to myself of late that i will no more, dress up my thoughts just to keep people happy, if i have something to say, i am going to say it and if people don't like it or don't agree, they are at liberty to say so or not read my blog. No more half thoughts or truths, just me as me is and with that, my thoughts and feelings as they are...100% honest or not at all. This policy is also going to spread, out of my blog and into any other writings or conversations i may have in chat or elsewhere, i am me and i have to be true to myself and to others, saying what people want to hear might in the short term keep them happy, but in the long run, surely, the truth, as i see it at the time, is better than lies.
i would like to once again, put forward my Master for some praise and credit, for his steadfast loyalty to myself and the children, for his constant endeavors to see that we are well taken care off, at some extraordinary cost to himself, on a daily basis and how much he gives to us of himself. It has been said recently that all men are selfish, (swear word) gits who give little and care less for their lady's.. i am here to say that my Master, is not and never will be one that falls into that category. His never ending toil to see that we are warm, well fed and cared for is a credit to him as a man and as my Master and i would like to thank him from the bottom of my heart for all he does and for all he gives of himself to see that we are ok. i have watched him lately and can see in his eyes and in the way he holds himself that this is taken so much out of him, yet each day he pushes himself more and more, digs deeper and deeper to find what is needed to keep him going so that he can provide what he committed he would do, when we became one, when we took on the Master/slave relationship that is what our lives are built on. Thank you Sir, for being who you are, what you are and for loving me as you do.
The strength we have, will see us through all this and i am sure that in time, the table will turn and life will become what we hope and dream it will be, until then, i remain, your loving slave, the one who offered you her gift of submission all that time ago, and has never once, nor will ever, regret that decision.